My Journey Through This Thing Called Life
Posted on July 02 2018
I’ve been trying to write this for several weeks now, but have had a heck of a time getting started. Then, this line from Prince came to mind and everything started coming together. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to get through this thing called life.” Life. It truly is a journey. Getting through this life hasn’t always been easy, however, during this journey I have begun to find myself and I'm happy in the direction it’s going.
I grew up in a great family, always had everything I needed. I shouldn’t have, but started struggling with self esteem issues in middle school. I still to this day remember sitting in music class when one of my friends whispered to me that two other girls were making fun of what I was wearing. I was humiliated. I had always worn what I liked and didn’t realize until that point that others would care so much they would have the need to make fun of me. From that day everything changed, I started constantly worrying about what others thought about me. Once you get into that mindset, it’s hard to get out of it. I continued to struggle with self esteem issues all the way up into adulthood. I got pregnant at 19, even though I was getting married and we were buying a house, (being responsible adults) my doctor said they had to report it as a “teen pregnancy.” I don’t know why I let that bother me, but it did in a big way. Then, after I had my daughter I started suffering from depression, but didn’t realize that was what it was because I didn’t want to hurt myself or my baby.
I have journeyed through this battle with depression along with some social anxiety alone (because I didn’t have a problem), up until about eight months ago. It was then that I finally got enough courage to admit to myself I did in fact have a problem and it was okay to tell someone about it and get help. I think my husband was secretly doing a happy dance when I told him that I had made that appointment with the doctor! He had told me many times during our 18 years of marriage I needed Prozac, I always told him he was crazy. He was never trying to be mean, he always had my best interest at heart, He knew I needed help. I, on the other hand am stubborn and wouldn’t admit that anything was wrong with me. I mean, what would other people think and say if they found out I suffered from depression/anxiety?! Ladies, don’t be me. If you’re struggling with depression, don’t just think that it will go away and suffer in silence. Go get the help. Believe me, there are a ton of people on medication and it is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I really wish I had gotten help sooner. It’s no fun to sit at home crying and wondering why you are so unhappy, when there is absolutely nothing to be unhappy about.
Inspired Designs is a reflection of me. It has grown with me since it opened in May 2016. I have been all over the place with branding and clothing styles. But, after getting help in my personal life and getting a handle on my depression, has come clarity. As we have entered year two, I finally know the direction I want the boutique to go in. For the last four weeks, I have been working with a great boutique marketing team to help me figure out all the details. I went to market to pick out clothing for the fall that really represents me and the styles I love. One thing that won't change is my desire to help women. I want everyone who comes in to find something they feel beautiful in and I want to continue to build a community of women who build each other up. (Join our VIP community, Inspired Designs Boutique VIP). I’m so excited about the future of Inspired Designs and can’t wait for y’all to see all the changes that will be rolling out in the coming months!